And I stopped to smell the roses.

That title must sound very familiar to you, reader. You must have had somebody even tell you this at some point of your life, when you were rushing about to make all your ends meet and were in the frenzy of things. I work as a reporter, and I always sweat the small stuff and hardly ever have time to relax. So, on a Saturday morning when everyone was lazing and lolling about in my house, I was at work. I took a deep breath and thought about the things that could be called the simple pleasures that life showers upon us, materialistic or not. These actions, events and objects, they may be transient but in that moment, they dull life's arduousness. But, you ask me, what are they? And here, I pull out some moments from the recesses of my brain:

RTO Beach, Thiruvanmiyur. This was during noon time, and this calmed my frayed nerves during my license exams. 

The blush of the moon- Elliot's beach, Besant Nagar.

The food that I devoured at Madras Pavilion, ITC Madras. That one night, I forgot to count my calories. 

The chirp of birds early in the morning, signifying the stifling of night's ominous mood, gently brushed aside by the gentle rays of the morning's hand. The curling of your palm around the cup of coffee/tea and the first sip you take that warms your throat. The rustle of newspapers, as your fingers clasp with a certain familiarity the end of the pages, ready to take in whatever news the world has to offer you. The freshness that envelops your body after a bath, when you feel like your worries melted away under the cascading of water over you. The taste of the first bite of food when you are hungry, and the subsequent feeling of pleasure that comes after. The joy of seeing a dog with a wagging tail and a stuck-out tongue, and feeling your mood lift up. The curling up on your bed or on the couch to read your favorite book or magazine, and deeply inhaling the musty smell. The melting of chocolate on your tongue, soft and delicious. Eating toasted bread with pats of butter spread across generously, and feeling like that maybe, heaven does exist. The pitter patter of rains outside your window, and sipping hot beverage and smiling at the coolness that tinges the air. When you see time move quickly while at work, and knowing that the end of the day is not far away. Performing a physical activity, and feeling fit for those fleeting minutes. Your mother's or grandmother's sweets twinkling at you invitingly during festivals. Finding solace in quiet gardens or parks as you let yourself be awed by nature's demure beauty. Finding that item of clothing that is tailor-made for you and well within your budget while shopping. Biting into a pizza and feeling the cheese explode in your mouth, and leaving you aching for more. The brush of flower petals against your skin, and the gentle tickle that feels like the caress of nature. Sitting on the beach as you watch the waves crash upon the sands, and wonder what other mysteries it holds deep within as the salty air tousles your hair. When you are home alone and do whatever you want to, feeling all grown up and responsible. Touching the hair on a baby's head, and smiling at the softness like it has been spun out of clouds and silk. Seeing your article published in the newspaper, magazine or website and feeling a sense of elation coursing through you, and feeling like your life is instantly better. The smile that your first salary brings to your lips, and knowing that you are now financially independent. Lazy weekends, where you just lie on your bed and do nothing and finding a certain calmness in the inactivity. Watching a movie with your family, and sharing popcorn and smiles. The funny joke you come across, and belly-shaking laughter, pink cheeks and happy-tears that follow. Finding that one song or tune that perks you up, and humming it while a smile plays on your lips secretly. Immersing your hand in a bucket of water, and finding an oddly relaxing sensation take over yourself (If you have not tried this, please do not miss it!) Looking at childhood photographs, and realising with a certain twang of pride and nostalgia that the beautiful baby smiling without a care in the world is you. The perfect selfie, and the number of likes that you get on a social media platform, whether you admit to this or not. The wind that sweeps through your hair when you travel in a scooter/bike/car and feeling like you're the hero/heroine in a movie. Doing that one activity that you struggled to do in the past, and finding that it comes so naturally to you now. When someone compliments you unexpectedly, and the happiness that glows pink on your cheeks and lights up your eyes. When you stretch your body after a long day of work, and feel the soreness and tiredness leave. And when your head rests on your pillow and you snuggle under your blanket, you are lulled into sleep by the gentle whirring of the fan and its cool air. You close your eyes and know that maybe, just maybe, if you noticed and dabbled in the small things that are innocent and pleasurable at its very core, life would not seem so difficult. After all, if I stopped and smelt the roses, so can you.

Too bogged down to give a title and all.

Today has been just like the past few days since my last semester of college ended- boring. The only thing I look forward to is going for walks with my cousin sister in the evening, where we pursue fitness and gab nineteen to the dozen. So as I returned home from my evening walk, I get a message saying that the semester exam results are out. I log in to the mostly inaccessible college intranet website smoothly, and view my results. "Hmm, A and above in everything", says my mom with a relaxed look on her face and walks out of the room. I'am by now nonchalant to the whole result frenzy, and just shrug my shoulders at nobody in particular. But something within me is unsettled, something that has been nagging me in the recesses of my brain for the past three months. I choose to face this dodgy demon now- it is the feeling of uncertainty. I login to Facebook immediately, and see that my classmates have posted happy statuses declaring themselves to be graduates, and there is virtual bonhomie. But I see a certain pride in their statuses, which I lack and I envy them for that. "They've figured out what they are going to do with their lives, and look at you! Aimless, aimless fool!", my mind throws at me. Most people have by now figured out whether they're going to study abroad or work, and where they are going to become more accomplished. But I feel scared because of the uncertainty of it all- I plan to work but do not know where, and I doubt my writing abilities. My body is slumped in favour of total relaxation, but my mind is in overdrive. I search for a word or two to describe my sense of self, and with dismay I find that it is "direction-less and lazy". The very two things that I despise in others, and I see it in myself. Have you ever felt that moment when you feel like you're trying really hard yet not hard enough? That's where I am right now, in limbo, hanging in between the light of figuring out my career and the dark of just being a college pass out with no aim. I'am sure there are a few souls like me who will agree with me when I say that it is highly frustrating when an adult asks you very casually, "Enna ma, what are your plans after this?" My innards are fraught with dread and anxiety, but externally I maintain a calm poise. I tell them that I plan to work in media field. Cue next irritating response or question, always alternating between "Oh, where? Hope we'll see you in the TV soon, hehe!" and "Why are you not studying a PG, ma?!" I want to shout that I do not bloody know where I am going to sit and screw my brains out due to work, and that I was not enthusiastic about a PG. Is it normal to not have your life figured out in this important passage of time, where everybody except me seems so sure of where they are progressing? It might sound overly dramatic when I say this, but I felt a faint voice screaming inside me due to the frustration. Because it feels like I take a step backward every time another young person like me knows what they are going to do next in life. I feel under-accomplished and like a dunce, and those breezy and emphatic articles flooding the internet talking about how it is okay to have your 20s figured out do not help me in the least. To put it simply in one sentence, "I do not want to feel like a failure." If I had a rupee for every career-related thought that plays with my mind and my peace, I'd be a crorepathi and would be able to set up my own magazine. If only, *sigh*.   

The Night I’ll Remember– 2/9/12

It's been months since I last opened this blog account. This write up or rather a rant should have been posted a year back. But I for some weird whim that must have taken hold of me then didn't. And so, now I do the honour of presenting the one thing I'am good at writing- rants I type out brashly with bristling self-righteousness at a moment and then forgotten about a day or two later. Looking back at this piece I wrote, I smile because I note with equal measures of joy and disdain that I have not really changed and would probably write the same thing if it were to happen again. (Fingers crossed, this should NOT happen) Without rambling any further, here it is:

I would say yesterday, Sep 2, was one of the most irritating things that I’ve ever experienced. Now let me tell you why and what happened. It started out beautifully, with the rain setting in and the weather was calm and very pleasant, and I was thoroughly enjoying myself, after a good dinner of Rotis, Paneer Butter Masala and Fried Rice.

It was 10 PM and I had received a text from my cousin I hadn’t spoken to in a long time, and it felt good talking about trivial topics. And then suddenly, whooshity doosh, the electricity goes off. My first reaction was neutral, and I thought, “Hey, it’ll be back in another 5 minutes.” But 5 minutes stretched into an hour passing by, and the electricity wasn’t back yet. I was irritated as I had college tomorrow and did not want to absent myself and I was muttering constantly, throwing choice swear words here and there, and my mother chiding me that the electricity was irritating her too, and I need not add to her already bad mood. 

But as time started passing by, I got extremely piqued. To put my moodiness at bay, I witnessed the scenario outside, through the bars of the open windows. The trees outside looked topsy-turvy, like the roots were above and the clusters of branches and leaves were below, and the inky-blue sky along with the occasional chill breeze soothing my terse self and I was getting high and laughing for no reason like I was drunk on God-knows-what. Then came the onslaught of mosquitoes to ruin my mood. Like possessive and needy lovers, they made slow love to my sweaty body. They kept buzzing around my ears, biting my hands and legs, leaving behind stupid hickeys. And very obviously, I did not like it because who likes mosquitoes leaving behind a part of them to remember? 

I covered myself with my dad’s white veshti, but no, they had to hover around, giving me the company I did not require. It’s true, you know, that misery loves company. I was misery personified then, and I did require company, but of the air conditioner and the fan, not the damned mosquitoes. I started proclaiming aloud how our country was not going to develop any further if they did not take care of basic facilities like ensuring strong electricity for the masses. I worked myself up into some sort of fervor, and I tried to even be introspective, but I really couldn’t, what with a sweat covered blanket, the hovering mosquitoes and a sleep deprived state. I fell into fits of deep slumber now and then, and would wake up to find that the electricity had not returned. Calls were made to the Electricity Board (EB), but the charming workers there did not pick up the calls. Fraught with a case of nerves and a desire to chop off the heads of anybody who passed even the slightest comment to irk me, I really did not know how to distract myself. Then after what seemed like an eternity, my grandfather said that the electricity would return only at 7 or 8 AM in the morning. I accepted defeat, claimed this was all some sort of conspiracy, and before you could tell me “Shut up”, I was asleep.

I wake up at 6 AM, go to the living room, crash on the couch and sleep again. The mosquitoes probably realized that despite the pleasure their company gave me throughout the night, they had to leave, and they did so very reluctantly, if I may say so. I’m guessing the extremely efficient EB workers were well versed in reading the clock, because the electricity returned after a mere 2 hours of the promised 7-8 AM slot. And that too for a span of 10 minutes or so, but hey, I should be extremely grateful right? I mean, what is a sacrifice of more than 8 hours of sleep and sanity compared to for 10 minutes of the rhythm of the fan which spewed a gush of air? Nothing, I tell you, for I am a very ungrateful and unreasonable person. I mean, the EB workers are martyrs for letting the residents of my area stay awake for a mere 8 hours while they gird their loins in order to work much, much later after the electricity snapped. And while I write this, I observe a squirrel climbing the frail stem of a Tulsi plant pot placed outside some one’s window sill on the third floor. I don’t know why I even wrote that down. And the electricity hasn’t returned yet. Wait, why am I even writing this whole incident down?   

Mind your voice!- a rant

I still remember 3 particular words that are just etched upon my mind from a lecture presented in college, even if I don’t remember a word of the core concept being taught then during the lecture. These 3 words are essential to an aspiring journalist like me and any other human being for that matter. Okay I have done enough of beating around the bush, and those 3 words I present to you with a flourish of my arms and an imaginary drum roll: “Courtesy costs nothing”. There, I said it. If your face has that questioning look that accuses me of stating a fact that I took 5 sentences to introduce, then please hear me out. I accept that it is difficult to communicate in a polite manner in stressful situations such as during meetings or even when a person is about to just sit down to eat dinner, but it bodes well to be agreeable to the other person, and not talk like one’s got daggers lined up right beside them that they are going to fling haphazardly. I have been piqued because I faced two unpleasant experiences with two very irksome people. One was the editor of a big media house, and another a god-knows-what in some motorcycle showroom. Two very contrasting situations, and you might quirk an eyebrow at me and ask me, “But showroom employees are nice to prospective customers. Why would they be rude?” The editor could be justified by saying that he is in a top-notch position where he deals with too many people and does not have time for any Tom, Dick and Harry calling to inquire about internships.  And the sales manager dude? What would be his excuse? Hmm, I don’t feel like both of these guys need a justification for that kind of outright dis-courteousness. To these guys, I address from here the message I want to hammer into their brains.  I understand that Chennai is a hot place to work at and it is not easy to handle the heat outside and the heat at work. But I would like to point out that it is NOT okay to just slam another person on the phone ( being me here) who is trying to hold on to every bit of her patience here and not lash out at you like a leather whip at the hands of a 21^st century Phoolan Devi! No matter what position you hold at your workplace, don’t forget that the other person on the phone is a) a human being just like you and b) the reason you earn your bread and butter. Remember that if you cannot be something as simple as courteous, you are a petty person no matter whether you are oh-so-friendly in your social circle or you use a religious caller tune to establish your virtuous personality (what an irony, don’t you think?) And again I address the two above mentioned people to tell you that I may be younger to you in age and not have that expertise you clutch so close to your heart, but your tongue is vile and that it will eclipse your merits otherwise. I conclude with three words that I hope is like a prick to your otherwise tolerable personality: Mind your voice.

Weird,WEIRD virtual world.

It's been so long since i logged into my blogger account, and i have nobody but myself to blame, being the lazy bum i am. And i am now back with a vengeance (sort of) to cram in all i have noticed about the very weird virtual world i live in. (Tres pathetic). To begin with, the Internet is a major boon to the "glued to my laptop and numb in the bum from all that sitting" types like me. And there are so many avenues to explore in this beautiful yet weird virtual world. Why weird, you ask me. Well, some idiots irritate a quasi-grammar nazi like me by using that godforsaken English lingo which is "so kewl,u knw". Take for example, this one:

Can i use the wheelchair option, please? Preferably one where i can  'accidentally'  fall and  hurt myself?

To the homies who use this distressing lingo that is murdering the beautiful language mercilessly and slowly, please PLEASE have pity on some of us who actually adhere to typing/writing the words just the way they are, not "lyk dis wch u find easy". Because sooner or later, someone is going to end up throwing a dictionary on your face, and who knows, i just might be that one. Yes, i can be menacing that way (Oh wait, that was a joke). And the other stupid trend which is setting fire to Tumblr and my Facebook newsfeed is the apparently very meaningful art of writing very obvious facts on a random picture of a scantily dressed girl or a couple making out like there's no tomorrow, like this one:

"I love how people want to smack us with a shovel when they see this."

The picture inserted above so carefully (with the source blurred with such adept expertise by me) is just one of the many,many examples hammered into the web. We are tangled in this very web where people post meaningless drivel like this and tarnish our basic senses with its senseless and totally obvious crap. I can talk for hours about this, but there are other things to be discussed too. So moving on, the next irritating thing is the "likewhore" trend. The most pointless trend, i believe. So, this trend is totally a Facebook thing, with some idiot who needs constant reassurance that chocolates or pretty hair needs a like to emphasize a person's like for it. (Of course people love both chocolates and pretty hair, you moron!) This could be forgiven as a lapse of common sense on their parts. But some people take it to extremes, like: 

Well, that escalated quickly.

I hope this poor lady knows that her picture is being used to garner likes by some sadistic kid in some corner of the world with a dark look in his eyes and a melted banana for a brain. So, if i don't like this picture, it means my grandma is going to die, is it? Stupid baboon farts. There are so many stupid things going on in the Internet, and i could go on ranting about them, but i put an end to it right here. All i can say is that its a weird virtual world. And as a fitting end to this post:

 Happy reading!

18 and forth.

Hello, one and all. I would like to blog today about some things i learnt from my 18 years of living and breathing on planet Earth. They say that when a child comes out of the mother's womb, it cries because it is not yet ready to face the world. But i was one of those few children who never cried when they came out of their mother's womb. I guess i was forewarned by God when i was in mummy's tummy (see what i did there?  Well in case it isn't clear, i rhymed.) about how harsh the world out there was going to be, and that it would be a man-eat-man world. And what God told me wasn't wrong at all. I'am not here to preach about how i have lost my faith in humanity (which i haven't) and talk about the various issues plaguing this planet drenched deep in corruption and crime (which it incidentally is). I would just like to talk about what i have learnt from meeting various people and walking through the various paths and stages in my life. I learnt at the age of 2 that no matter how many times while learning to walk, you're still going to rise up and keep trying until you master the art of walking, which is quite the achievement at that age of infancy. I learnt at the age of 7 that some things, in my case a chocolate (which was a big deal to me at that age) will slip out of your hands and your life and it happened because there is something better waiting for you in life ( i got 10 chocolates for losing one. Ha.) I learnt at the age of 11 that even though you fall from a height and hurt some part of your body, which in my case was my head after i fell down from a stone bench to the ground, your vulnerable body part will heal and that you're definitely going to be okay, and not end up like actor Vikram in the Tamil movie Pitamagan (okay, no offence intended, just trying to give you an example here.) I learnt at the age of 15 that it's okay if you're not able to perform well in your school examinations, because your ultimate knowledge is to be used in the examination of Life and trust me, the examination of Life has questions that very few can only answer. If you have to be prepared for that, please go through the Bhagavad Gita. It's the book that tells you your purpose in Life.( I came over all philosophical there for a minute, but can't help it.) I learnt at the age of 17 that it's okay to be rejected by someone you had a crush on, and it's because God is writing a better love story for you in indelible ink. And at the age of 18, i learnt that not at all people will be nice to you. Some people will seem really sweet on the outside, but their intentions might be only to manipulate and use you as their tissue, and even if you have been used by somebody, it's okay to feel hurt and rebel, but it's even better to rise above it all and move on. I learnt that when you unfriend a person (Facebook or real life, but here i'm talking about reality), it's not always wrong, and remember, it happened only because this person would have never been the right sort of company for you and even if you had forced these thoughts out of your mind, they will hit you back on the face because you are hanging out with a person your heart and soul dislike. I learnt that if this person you broke your friendship keeps talking ill of you to others, just ignore it, because there is a saying which goes by "Empty vessels make the most noise." And i learnt not to diss the opportunity to get into an amazing bond of friendship with someone else, and not think that every person i consider a friend is just another xerox copy of my ex-friend. I learnt to trust again those my heart told me to trust, and i haven't had my trust broken. And i know that my life's boat is to sail further to a future awaiting me, and i hope that i remember all that i learnt through my 18 years. Because it's going to be 18 and forth. 

Earphones were invented with a purpose. Like DUH.

Earphones. That long, thin wire with two small ear bud like thingies (whatchamacallit) in various colors (the ones with soothing colors to the jarring imma-slap-you-right-in-your-face ones) and shapes and in various brands, from the ones which make us go, "Oh it's so cheap and i'm SO getting it!" to the ones which make us go, "Holy Mother of God! That costly?!", fascinating so many people. Now, now. Why WERE these earphones invented? Well, the first reason they were invented was so that we could listen to music in peace. I hate it when people travelling in public modes of transport start playing songs loudly with lyrics which go something like, 'Cow dying, Man eating, blah blah blah'.(For those of you don't what song this is, it's a Tamil song called Nakku Mukka. One hell of a song. And the word "hell" is used in two different contexts that i think you might have figured out). Why do these people play the songs loudly? To grab attention? To display in public their tastes in music? To impress that girl sitting across them, who most of the time would end up not giving a shite about the song or the person behind the song playing? Sad, i tell you. Another reason why earphones were invented was for talking on the phone peacefully in privacy, with another person not intruding in to the conversation. Some people will take their phones out in one suave and stylish manner, but when they open their mouths, you are one gone case only. They will yell at the top of their lungs about how their boyfriend's sister's best friend's sister's boyfriend ran away with some other girl. I want to ask such people this question, "You think you're one big pista or what?". I mean, when someone purchases one basic phone itself they'll get a pair of earphones. Then why not invest in a pair of earphones from any brand from Skull candy to Raja Ramaiyyah blablablah? That will give you even more of a stylish appeal and it will save other people's other people's ears from getting deaf with the 100 decibel voice you're employing when talking with someone on the phone. So next time you're talking on the phone with your boyfriend/girlfriend and your nosy parents or relatives drop in to ask you who you're talking to, or when your cousins wink at you in an uber-irritating manner and ask you questions which make your cheeks and ears go pink with blushing, your earphones will come handy. After all, they were created with a purpose. Like DUH.